Real Life Parenting - What they don't put in the baby books!

'You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.'

- Franklin P Jones

I am the eldest child in my family but I had experience with babies and children before I actually had my own, but it is different having your own. 

You are expecting your first child and you think about lots of different things, you think about what kind of parent you will be. You buy the baby books and read up on how to care for a child. You think I'll have this nailed! You look at your own parents and pick the things you will do like they did, and the things you won't. You think you are prepared and just need to get through the tough bit of giving birth, or having your hand crushed whilst your partner gives birth! Oh how naive we are! 

Now don't get me wrong child birth is tough for both parents. With my daughter, I nearly dislocated her Dad's jaw pulling on it and she was my easiest birth! But compared to the rest of your life caring for a child, childbirth is a piece of cake. 

The truth is parenthood is damn hard! It's stressful, exhausting and scary. But it's also rewarding, worthwhile and hilarious! 

I have come across so many people who have said they won't allow their child to do such and such a thing and their child will do this activity, speak when spoken to, will behave, will get into a perfect sleeping routine, will only eat certain foods etc. And I am not attacking anyone saying that, I was one of them people haha. 

I am a huge believer in nature over nurture. Children are born with their own personalities and yes we can direct them and mold them to a certain point but, at the end of the day they will decide who and what they become. 

I have 3 children now and each one of them are unique in their own ways, they have all been raised with the same rules and yet are so different. My son is quiet and into his computers, my daughter is very outgoing, sporty and loves art and my youngest is only 7 months, old but already you can see his personality, he is going to be a little monkey, he is already very jolly and a real joker, thinks he's a mini comedian. 

So basically I am writing this article to tell you some of the things I wasn't told in the baby books, some of the things your children will more than likely do. They will show you up, test your patience, make a huge mess and put you in some very awkward situations. 

Lets start with some of my memories from when mine were babies. 

Poop up the back! Nobody told me about this, I presumed the nappies just some how ALWAYS managed to keep it in there, but nope they don't. You can go buy the branded nappies or the supermarkets own brand and I guarantee you will be cleaning poop off baby's back more than once! 

Nappy changing. If you can I suggest you practice on a doll and keep practicing until you can get the quickest time possible haha. You need to be damn fast when changing a nappy. All new parents are pretty slow in the beginning, think you have all the time in the world but you really don't! You get that nappy off, baby clean and nappy back on as quick as humanly possible before the little pee fountain gets you, oh and baby will find it very funny! 

Another tip on nappy changing, if you are going out, do it before you put your clean clothes on! I was all ready to go out one day, had a new skirt on that I loved and needed to change my eldest son's bum. He pooped all over my new skirt! It just shot out! I was gutted. :(   

Sleepless nights. Now I know you are thinking, yeah, yeah I already know about this one, baby will wake me up crying wanting food. Well I'm not talking about the hungry waking up, I'm talking about the waking up simply to play or in the case of my youngest just shout and 'sing'. He woke me up the other night, about 1am simply making really loud noises and laughing at himself. It's usually cute but when you have had about 4 hours sleep in the last 48 hours, it's not the best time! Haha 

Washing. There will be a lot of it! You think yeah I'll buy maybe 7-10 sleepsuits and vests, one a day and maybe the odd one for accidents, that way I can wash baby's clothes once a week. I will be such an organised parent. Keep dreaming. Baby's and children make soooooo much mess. They get alsorts on them and sometimes you wonder how they even managed it! Whether it's the expected, sick, poop, drool, food. Or the unexpected, a strange sticky substance, is that pen? Kids have you drawn on the baby?! Make sure you have a good washing machine and dryer! 

I could really keep going with what to expect with babies but there is too much and you need to know the next stage, when they can move! 

Toddlers, small kids, just simply anything after baby starts moving, up until about age 8 (that's just my experience haha)

Pens! You think you can hide them, you think you have binned them all but no that child has a secret stash, somewhere only they know. Trust me, I'm not being dramatic a child could find something to draw with in a empty room. I swear they are magic, have some secret power that can create pens or crayons out of thin air! And they will draw on everything! Your freshly decorated living room walls? Yep they'll draw on it. Your sofa's? Themselves? The cat? They will draw on anything and everything! Believe me! 

Moving. Oh dear, they have started to move! This is the stage where you cannot own anything that isn't childproof. They grab and climb on everything. To them the world is one huge climbing frame, and they will seek to conquer it. My eldest ended up on the microwave! How? I do not know, but he did it. 

Pets. Your poor pets have no idea what's coming. Our cat wasn't 100% sure what to expect with my youngest but has recently found out that baby likes to pull his fur out! Thankfully the cat is a good boy and just runs away. Poor thing. 

Attitude.  In my experience my daughter is worse for this than the boys. You think at such a young age they won't have an attitude problem. That's what teenagers go through? But nope, the little one's definitely do. Grumpiness, ignoring you, mad with you, upset. They are just mini teenagers. If looks could kill. 

No more starfishing. If you are one that loves to spread out in bed, wriggle around or even sleep in the middle say goodbye to that. Get ready for sleeping on the very edge while the kids take over, or maybe waking up with a foot in your face, or hand in your mouth. Kids love cuddles in bed with Mum and Dad. Obviously I'm being a tad over the top, it doesn't happen EVERY night, but most ;) haha. 

The other week I woke up to my youngest (Joseph 7 months old) who had wriggled around in the bed and now had his bottom right in my face. I was woken up by trumping (or farts as some people call them). Thankfully he had a nappy on so kind of protected me a little but still not great! 

Anytime from being able to talk next. You will be put into many awkward situations. Children are so curious and ask a million questions all the time because they are constantly learning. It's great that they want to know so much and look to you for the answers. It's an awesome feeling that your children think you are that amazing you know EVERYTHING. But it can also cause a few flushed faces.

Questions or observations. Children notice everything, you think they didn't hear or see you but they did, they definitely did. I guess for this bit it would be much easier to just give you examples. So here we go.

The supermarket checkout. You have just loaded all your shopping onto the till and are now waiting for your turn, someone is stood in front of you. One time the person stood in front of us happened to smell not so great. As an adult we know it is best to just keep your mouth shut and hold your breath, it's impolite to comment. Children don't think this way. My daughter decides to say at the top of her voice. 'Mum why does that person smell so bad?' I replied with, 'I can't smell anything, nobody smells bad.' She then even louder than before says, 'Mum that person smells really bad, she does, Mum smell her, she smells really bad! That one!' She then doesn't only point but pokes the woman in front who smelt. I wanted the ground to swallow me up there and then, I had no where to run or hide. I just had to smile and pretend nothing had happened. 

That was just one example, my daughter has said things similar to this before and since. I've had, why is that person so fat? Mum why is that person driving a car in the shops, they should walk (was a wheelchair). Look Mum that person has a funny face. That person has no hair! That person's skirt is tucked in their knickers. The list goes on. 

My son was similar, he saw a dwarf, or little person. If I'm honest I'm unsure of the correct term these days. He asked me why that man was so small, I explained and he got upset and asked me if he was a dwarf. The poor man heard the full conversation. 

No doubt I will have all this to come with my youngest. Thankfully he can't talk yet! 

Now I know I have made parenthood sound all negative. And I may have come across as a Mother who just complains about her kids but as awful and embarrassing as some of the above things sound I loved and still love every minute of being a parent. 

It's damn hard work and anyone who tells you it's not is a liar. Children are so unpredictable and can catch you out at any moment, they can stress you out and can be naughty but they are so amazing and we have to remember they are creating their own stories but they seek us for guidance and we need to be there for the good, the bad and the ugly. 

It is all worth it as you will be rewarded for your hard work. The overwhelming love you feel for your children makes you feel like you could explode, as you just can't contain how much you love them. They will make you laugh, they will make you proud. You will enjoy watching them learn and grow. And you will look back at the gross stuff and laugh. My two older children love hearing stories of when they were younger. 

Oh and just so you don't lose all hope, they come in handy when they get older too. Check out my son cooking dinner, under my supervision obviously. And my daughter rubbing lotion onto my sunburned legs. 

Life with children will never be lonely or dull. You will forever have someone to love and someone who loves you back, you will have many fun times together, and create many special memories. Being a parent with one of the most, if not the most, rewarding thing that will ever happen to you. 

Enjoy your journey through parenting, it begins now and never ends. 

From all of us, enjoy being a family! Warts and all. xXx

No Wonder You Formula Feed! - Formula vs Breast Milk.

'You can always tell who the strong women are. They are the ones you see building one another up, instead of tearing each other down.'

- Unknown

To start with I would like to apologize for any breastfeeding woman who has ever been nothing but supportive to you.

I am a breastfeeding mother, I breastfed all 3 of my children. I was only 16 when I had my first and still breastfed. I breastfed because I was told the benefits breast milk will provide for my newborn baby and thankfully I had a supportive, not bullying, adviser. 

I believed majority of breastfeeding Mothers were like me. Oh how wrong I was! 

I recently joined a breastfeeding group on FB, it has over 12,000 members. I thought, 'this is fantastic, all these mothers providing the best for their children.'

Not to offend but it is fact that breast milk is best for your baby and formula will never be able to compete with that. It is fact that breast milk can do what formula can't. It is able to adapt to your baby's needs. If your baby is poorly and you feed directly from the breast, then your milk will change to give baby what it needs to get through the illness. It contains antibodies, hormones, anti-viruses, anti-allergies, anti-parasites, growth factors and enzymes. All these things are not found in formula milk. 

Formula milk does have some not so great things in it and some of the ingredients are by products of things used in cleaning products. Some ingredients are just waste products from some pretty nasty things. 

But today I am not writing about the dangers of formula or the benefits of breast milk, that is not why I am writing this post. 

I am writing this post to say sorry. Sorry for some of the nasty women you may come across if you are a formula feeding mother. 

I have 3 children, my eldest being 10 years old so I could say by now I know a hell of a lot about breast feeding and breast milk. 

Throughout my breastfeeding journey I have only ever had 1, ONE, woman say anything nasty to me about breastfeeding. I was feeding my eldest in public about 9 years ago and had a woman approach me and tell me to stop feeding as her husband was looking. My response wasn't very nice so I am no saint. I replied with, 'well maybe if you showed your breasts to your husband more often he wouldn't need to look at a nursing mother.' She soon shut up and walked away.

I have fed many times in public and I have spoken about my breastfeeding to many different people and it was only this one women who said something mean.

Majority of mothers I know feed or fed their child formula milk, I only know a few people directly who breastfed. But none of these formula mothers ever said anything mean to me. They were nice and supportive. 

Now don't get me wrong I would love for all mothers to breastfeed. The benefits definitely prove it is the best option for your child and only 2% of women worldwide physically cannot breastfeed so compared to the 98% who can that's a pretty small number. Unfortunately some mothers are unable to breastfeed due to things out of their control. Such as a pre term baby who is too small to be able to latch onto the breast. Some baby's suffer with tongue or lip tie and this if unnoticed can cause issues for mothers trying to feed. They are just some examples. 

I keep swaying away from my original point, sorry.

Back to formula Mothers vs breastfeeding Mothers. 

My point, formula mothers have never (excluding the one) been anything but nice and supportive. As I didn't know many breastfeeding mothers at the time I just guess all breastfeeding mother's were kind and supportive also. I was so wrong.

Back to joining the FB group of over 12,000 breastfeeding mothers. Now not ALL are mean, some are nice, but after today it's pretty clear majority can be very nasty. 

I like to try and encourage breastfeeding by telling the facts about the benefits to baby but I also like to mention the benefits to Mum to try and make the option more appealing. 

I already had my own list of benefits for Mum, such as lowers your risk to different cancers, helps your uterus to contract sooner so you get your pre baby tummy back a little faster. How much money can be saved from breastfeeding as formula can be very expensive and if you are flat chested like me, while breastfeeding you actually get a bust! It's awesome. 

I decided to ask the group what reasons, other than breast is best, helped them to decide on breastfeeding as their milk choice for baby?

A few were a bit like me and mentioned things like cost and not having to mess about making formula and sterilizing bottles. But majority were simply replying with comments such as;

 I disagree completely. I think people need to make educated choices for their children and the hidden dangers of formula are completely unacceptable. Mums genuinely believe that they are making an equal choice but they are being deceived. To say that the risks to mum and baby must be hidden in favour of talking about bigger breasts is completely and utterly bonkers.

Because that's how babies are fed and I sure as hell wasn't giving her artificial milk and exposing her to those risks.

Because human babies are born to drink human milk and giving them anything else is irrational.

Because breast is the only option, how could a mother think they are doing a good job when they are poisoning their baby with formula!!! 

Also 'breast isn't best'... It's normal, it's a babies baseline!! 

Above are just a couple of examples, some of the tamer ones, the post currently has almost a 100 responses and still going. 

Now is it just me or are these comments a little pushy? Belittling? Make you feel you are a bad mother if you do not breast feed? I think they are. 

I would love for everyone to breastfeed and yes I do think a lot of mother's don't even research it and some do choose formula for selfish, lazy reasons but I don't believe most do.

I think breastfeeding should be promoted more, I think parents need to be educated on the benefits of breastfeeding and the risks of formula but I do NOT think they should be bullied, belittled, made to feel like a failure or not good enough.

So again as a breastfeeding mother I am sorry if you have ever been bullied or made to feel awful by any of us. 

As women we should be supporting each other, not attacking. I did not post anything about International Women's Day yesterday as I am forever coming across women bullying other women. Sometimes I am ashamed to be associated with them. 

Good luck on your baby journey and if you are interested in a little more info on breastfeeding I have another post about it so go check it out. :D

Mother's Day - Motherhood is a Choice.

'Family isn't always blood. It's the people in your life who want you in theirs; the ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile & who love you no matter what.'

-Unknown

Today is Mother's Day here in the UK. Mother's Day is a tough day for me, after all these years you'd think it wouldn't bother me but unfortunately I am only human and as much as I try I still find it upsetting and difficult. 

I know I am very blessed, I have many wonderful, loving people in my life. They love me unconditionally and always try to be there for me. Not all of them are blood related, to be honest majority of them aren't. 

I used to think family was just whoever you were related to by blood. I believed you didn't get to choose your family, it was just which ever family you happened to be born into. 

Over the years I realised this isn't the case. I realised family is simply who you choose, not who you are given. The sad part is though they need to choose you back. 

Anyway back to Mother's Day. I thought Mother's Day was simply just for actual blood Mother's, whoever gave birth to you or shared your DNA. 

Over the years I realised Motherhood is a choice. You can choose not to be a Mother. Now this doesn't mean you can choose not to get pregnant or choose to have an abortion if you do. I mean if you give birth to a child it does not automatically make you a Mother, it is still a choice. You can choose to either be there for that child for the rest of your life or you can choose to give that child away. You may care for the child for a few years and then turn your back on them, or you may choose to be there forever. Either way Motherhood is a choice. 

So in my opinion, today, Mother's Day is a day to celebrate all those women who choose to be a Mother or Mother figure. 

Today is for the women who choose to be a part of a child's life for as long as physically possible, the women who will be there for that child no matter what!

You do not have to have even given birth to the child, you may not have any blood or marriage connection to the child, you just need to be there for them!

Whether you are a Mother through blood, a Mother through adoption, fostering. An Aunty, a Nanna, Grandma, Sister, or Friend. Today is for all the women who CHOOSE to be a part of a child's life for as long they are can be. 

Today is not a day to celebrate the women who turned their backs on children. It is not a day to celebrate the women who choose to be a part of the child's life only while it suited them.

Today is for the women who love unconditionally! 

Above is the lady who loves me unconditionally, my Nan. She is the woman who has always been there for me no matter what. And I literally mean no matter what. She hasn't had it easy when it comes to me, I have put her through some tough times and lots of worry but that never stopped her loving me, standing by me and providing for me. 

Now don't get me wrong, we drive each other insane sometimes, she can be a nag and I can be ignorant when it comes to advice she gives me. But through it all we still love each other. 

This amazing woman, is basically my Mum. And I will be forever grateful for everything she has ever done for me. 

She puts up with my moaning, she's there for me when I'm sad, or ill. She is there for me through the happy times and the bad. 

Because of my experience with women in my life, the women who chose not to be Mother's, the one's who turned their backs, I find it very difficult to respect women. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are many amazing women out there but from my own personal experience, I haven't found many.

But my Nan is one of the few women I have a huge amount of respect for and who I love dearly. So she is the one I will celebrate today. 

I hope everyone has a fantastic Mother's Day!

A quick thank you to all the other people in my life that love me and my children unconditionally. You know who you are and I'm sure you'll no doubt be praised in my blog soon enough. :) 

Note - I am fully aware there are extreme circumstances where a Mother had to choose to give away or turn their backs on their children but I am not going to cover every possible scenario, I'm sure you get the idea. :) 

We Got Engaged!!

'Remember tonight, for it's the beginning of forever'

- Dante Alighieri

My Little Sister, Rebecca.

Me, the night I met Alex.

I met my now fiance 3 years ago. I was at a ladies night in Stockport. I entered the room and it was full of over 100 excited women and a handful of topless waiters. Now places like this aren't usually my scene but I was helping out with a stall there. Long story short I enjoyed a few drinks with my sister and got chatting to one of the topless waiters, Alex.

(In their defence they were topless waiters as a one off raising money for charity)

One of the waiters having a little too much fun! Haha

The evening was going great and we sat talking for ages, he was a lovely guy and very handsome. I thought this is going great, I think he likes me. The end of the night came and he still hadn't asked for my phone number! I slowly walked out with him, I tried my best to stall hoping it would give him chance to ask for my number and he didn't. We said goodbye and parted. He was staying in the hotel and I was waiting in the reception to go home.

I was gutted! I really thought he liked me, why didn't he ask for my number? 
My sister saw how upset I was and she noticed he had written his details down on a competition the stall I was on was doing. So she gave me his number and told me to text him.

'Hey this is Charlotte, here's my number if you want it.' 

The next minute he comes walking briskly into reception. We spent about 2 hours chatting in reception before I thought I best leave. He walked us to the taxi and gave me a kiss on the cheek. 
Sounds like it worked out right? Well turns out he lived in Ipswich! Over a 4 hour drive from me in Manchester. How do I manage to find an amazing guy not far from home and then it turns out he lives in Ipswich! 
So the odds were against us, no way it was going to work, all you ever here is that long distance relationships completely fail. 

The next morning I woke up to a text message from him, and that was it, we haven't looked back. We didn't go a day without speaking and took turns in visiting each other. 

3 years on and we have a son together but are still in a long distance relationship. How we have kept it up I have no idea. The career he has has made it quite difficult for him to come up here but thankfully he can apply for transfer next year!

Because of his job and the distance, we were unable to celebrate Valentine's Day this year, so we agreed to celebrate on the 26th February. 

Us at the James Martin Restaurant, Manchester

He planned a wonderful evening, we were visiting the James Martin Restaurant in Manchester and then off to Cloud 23 in the Hilton for a few cocktails. Sounded like the perfect evening and to be honest a tiny, tiny part of me thought, 'this is a bit fancy for us, I wonder if he is going to propose?'

Us at Cloud 23 in the Hilton, Manchester

The evening went amazing, Alex looked very handsome, the food was gorgeous and the view from the Hilton was beautiful. There were so many opportunities for a guy to propose and it would of been perfect! The conversation flowed as well as a couple of cocktails. Then our evening finished and it was time to go home to our baby boy. 

No ring on my finger. It wasn't happening. But I knew, only a tiny part of me thought maybe he will? 

It didn't ruin the night though, I still enjoyed every minute with him, as I always do and it was a wonderful, rare, date night. 
We arrived home, changed out of our clothes and into pajamas and I climbed into bed with my son for cuddles. 

Our son, baby Joseph

The next minute Alex wanders into the room in his topless waiter outfit from 3 years ago. I couldn't stop laughing, it brought back great memories and I never thought I'd see him in it again. What a perfect way to top the evening off. 
Time to exchange Valentines presents. We agreed cheesy, lovey, dovey things for Valentines as we always do. So I gave him a few little bits and a card. 

My gift to Alex, I guess you could say it's our song.

His turn.

He handed me a beautiful bouquet of red roses, a lovely Valentine's card (all while still wearing his topless waiter outfit) and then got down on one knee! 

I thought my face was going to break I was smiling so much. I couldn't believe the love of my life was down on one knee. The odds were against us from the beginning and here he was about to ask me to marry him.

He told me he loved me and that he misses me whenever we are apart and would I marry him?

Of course I said yes!! My very own topless waiter asking me to spend the rest of my life with him! How could I refuse. I couldn't stop smiling or kissing him, I was so happy. Everything I ever wanted.

Two people from other ends of the country beating the odds of a long distance relationship and the very odd meeting at a ladies night, finally engaged and looking forward to our future together and hopefully no longer long distance! 

Me, Alex and my youngest son.

I thought I knew what love was before I met him but oh how wrong I was. I have finally met the 'one', my soul mate, my best friend and the most amazing father. I knew from day one I wanted to marry him, I no longer cared about the big wedding, the fancy ring, the presents. All I knew was I would marry this man with string on my finger, in jeans and a t -shirt so long as it meant I would be his. 

So the ring is a huge bonus! ;)

My Engagement Ring

All of us! Me, Alex, Joseph, Joshua and Katelyn. My beautiful family! 

My Home Birth 12th August 2015

It was a very empowering experience for me to give birth that way. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced, but I lived through it. Now I want to shake every pregnant woman I know and say 'have a home birth!'

-Susanne Scott Rosenfeld

When I was 10 years old my step Mother chose a home birth for my younger brother Benjamin. I don't remember too much of it but what I do remember stayed with me ever since. I was fast asleep in the middle of the night and was shaken awake by her telling me her waters had broke. I was 10 so it didn't really mean much to me but then the next morning I was woken by the sounds of a pregnant lady pushing (I'm sure I don't need to describe that sound haha). It was about 7:15am on the 1st December and all of a sudden myself and my brothers and sister heard a baby crying. 

We all ran upstairs as fast as we could and were all able to meet our new brother, minutes after he had arrived into the world. It was amazing and I honestly feel I have a stronger connection with my little brother because of that. 

Ever since then I always wanted a home birth but unfortunately it took baby number 3 to get my wish.

With my first child I was very young so had to have a hospital birth, I didn't know much about birth and just went along with what every body told me, so it ended in a very painful hospital birth, no pain relief, being cut and then dying afterwards. So yeah, not the nicest experience. I later found out I contracted the thing that killed me from hospital! Surely that's enough to put anyone off having a baby in hospital!

3 years later I became pregnant with my 2nd child, due to the bad experience with my first the doctors refused to allow me to have a home birth. I wasn't a happy bunny but seemed I had no choice. I did choose to stay at home til the very last minute to avoid any medical intervention (I'm sure hospitals get excited about drugging up mothers or cutting them up!). Thankfully this birth went smooth, no pain relief and I was pushing as soon as I arrived at hospital, my daughter was born soon after. 

So that's the back ground of my births but thankfully as my 2nd birth went so well, this time I was able to have the home birth I wanted! :) 

Guess it's time to jump forward 6 years! I'll be totally honest, this pregnancy was unplanned. I sobbed for over an hour when I found out I was pregnant, I had no idea what I was going to do, how I was going to handle it. I was just getting on with life, back in work, children both in school, finishing my studies and then I get this little surprise.

Now I know I will be hated for some of my comments on this pregnancy but I feel it's probably best to be honest. 

So I cried for over an hour, and I hate to say it but for a split second abortion crossed my mind. I had always been against abortion (except in extreme circumstances) and the guilt still eats me up that it even crossed my mind but no I was going to handle this. I already have two, I can do this with a 3rd child. 

Time to tell the family I guess. I walked round to my Dad's house to talk to him and his wife and tell them the news. I was in tears, cried as I announced, 'I'm pregnant.'

I didn't get the reaction I expected, my Dad just started laughing. I was shocked. He said he had received a fine over his motorbike the day before but now it didn't seem like anything compared to this. Thankfully he was supportive, both him and his wife comforted me and said I can do this. 

I was still coming to terms with the idea of being pregnant. I know I should be so grateful I am able to have children as so many can't, but hey we are human and can sometimes be selfish. I had accepted I was going to have another child but I wasn't happy about the idea.

10 weeks into my pregnancy I started heavily bleeding, completely out of no where. I thought this is it, I've lost the baby. I was heart broken. It took losing the baby to make me realise how much I wanted him. At the end of the day he was my child and I was his Mother, it was my job to care and protect him.

I thought that was it, he had gone. I was just going to leave it at that but thankfully my Dad's wife Audrey repeatedly told me to go to the hospital just to check. I gave in the next day and went.

And there he was on the screen. My very own little jelly baby, wriggling around inside me with a strong heartbeat. I was so happy to see he was hanging in there. 

  10 week scan.

Both of my children witnessed me bleeding so they thought they had lost their baby brother so it was wonderful to pick them up from school and show them he was still hanging in there. 

The rest of the pregnancy was the typical boring pregnancy. Lots of morning sickness, SPD, back ache, going off certain foods, craving certain foods, moodiness (which my partner suffered the most for). Just a normal pregnancy I guess.

20 week scan (when I found out baby was a boy)

So fast forward to the end of the pregnancy. I was fat, struggling to walk and just wanted baby out! How majority of pregnant women feel at the end I'm guessing haha.

My due date came and went. I felt like he was never going to come out. For weeks I had been making sure everywhere was clean and tidy in case tonight was the night but nope. He still didn't come. Then on the Tuesday night I was shattered, the pots needed washing but I thought forget it I'll do it in the morning. 

1am on the 12th August. I had been happily snoozing, tucked up in bed. My eldest son Joshua decided to sleep in my bed that night (he is 9). I woke up thinking I had wet myself (Oh best mention, my waters never broke with my others, they had to be popped, my daughter was still in hers when she was being born). Then I realised I hadn't wet myself, my waters had broke!! The water was literally gushing out.

I shook my son to wake him up to help me. My partner was away for work so it was just me and the children. My son woke up not having a clue what was going on. 

"Joshua! My waters have broke, pass me that towel please!"

Half asleep my son grabbed everything I asked for. I cleaned myself up and thought, 'crap! What do I do now?'

My son was awesome, by this point he had woken up properly and talked me through it all. He said, 'Mummy you need to ring the midwife, Nanna, Grandad and Alex! Do you need me to do it?' 9 years old and he was in more control than me! 

While all this was happening my daughter was fast asleep in her room haha. 

I made it down the stairs, let my Dad know, let my Nan know, Alex and then I phoned the hospital. 

Now remember it was 1am this was all happening. I phoned the hospital and told them my waters had broke, I was having contractions, I was having a home birth, so what do I do?! The hospital just sounded like they didn't care. Just told me to come to hospital at 7am and they would check if it was my waters. Seriously!!???!! I told them I was having this baby soon but as usual they didn't believe me.

Nan showed up 20 minutes later. My contractions were very strong and very close together yet the only thing I could think was, I haven't washed the pots! Nan to the rescue.

I rang the hospital back and said I'm having this baby! Send the midwife!

Dad was on his way round, Midwife was on her way and Alex was far away with work and sleeping through all my messages! Haha.

I was bouncing on my birth ball, hot water bottle on my back and my son was running a bath for pain relief for me.

Honestly I couldn't believe at 9 years old how in control he was. I was so proud of him. Unfortunately I never made it to the bath, things were moving too quickly.

My contractions were probably less than a minute apart, the first chance I got between contractions, I ran up the stairs to my room, ready to have this baby.

Unfortunately because of the pain I only remember parts of the birth. The contractions were getting hard to handle by now. My Dad had arrived and the Midwife by now. The Midwife came into my room, informed me another Midwife was on her way too and then asked if I wanted them to send for gas and air. I told them there wasn't time, she just agreed. 

Nan was my birth partner, my Dad was tea lady/photographer for the night and my son was on cat control. The cat kept trying to get into my room so Joshua had to keep getting him out haha. 

Time to push. I went from kneeling on the floor to kneeling on the bed. Any position to try to make it easier. The midwives got everything set up and continuously checked baby's heart beat. Nan would rub my back to try and help with the pain and give me water through out. I couldn't have done it without her, or any of my family in fact! 

The midwives were amazing, so friendly, so in control and really eased my mind that this was all going to be okay. I had planned my home birth for months and knew everything I wanted but these midwives didn't know my plan and I didn't really have chance to explain so during a contraction I just shouted out, 'Oral Vit K, delayed cord clamping and breastfeeding! I'm sorry, I'm not telling you how to do your job, just trying to let you know what I want, I'm sorry.' 

Most of it became a bit of a blur from then, I remember bits but not too much, just the pain. 

I remember Nan telling the midwives that I apologize for breathing. One midwife said she couldn't believe how well I was doing without pain relief, she said I was handling the pain like a woman who had an epidural. Go me! :D 

They continued to check baby's heartbeat. Dad was passing cups of tea through the bedroom door whilst turning away so he didn't see and Nan continued to rub my back.

Then baby's heartbeat dropped. A lot! 

I'll be honest, I started to panic. I wanted him to be safe and healthy. Until this point the midwives had just talked to me and let me get through it how I wanted. They both then explained the baby's heartbeat had dropped and that they needed him out. They were so calm and in control. It helped me relax and trust them.

The Midwife then made me change position and talked me through pushing and breathing. I had never experienced 'The Ring of Fire' as I had heard a lot of Mum's call it but boy did I feel it this time, it stung and was worse than the pain of contractions haha. 

Baby made it out safe and healthy at 3:18am, weighing 8lb, delayed cord clamping, oral Vitamin K, skin to skin and breastfed. Only 2 hours and 18minutes after my waters broke. Not bad timing if I do say so myself. I had done it! I had my first home birth!

I was so happy, finally holding my new child in my arms. The Midwives were even crying. It was so amazing.

They covered me up and proceeded to get the children and my Dad. Nan, Dad, Joshua and Katelyn were all able to meet my new son, their new Grandchild, their new brother, minutes after birth. I can't even describe how fantastic it was. I was so so so so happy.

Joshua and Katelyn meeting their new brother Joseph Stephen.

Out of all 3 of my births this was by far the best. No scary hospitals, my home comforts, as many people as I wished in the home at the time. Amazing support. Totally awesome Midwives and a proper cuppa tea! ;) 

I would encourage anyone who is able to have a home birth to have one! You won't regret it!

 Joseph Stephen, one of his first photos.

Last little note. I want to say a huge thank you to my Nan, my Dad, my children Joshua and Katelyn and of course the truly amazing Midwives that I was so blessed to be able to have.

Oh and also if anyone is wondering and considering a home birth, they do clean up any mess too! I kept telling them to leave it but they insisted, you get the complete package!

Thank you for reading! Hope maybe you will consider a home birth next time?

Also if anyone has any questions about my home birth feel free to ask in the comments section or like my Facebook page and send a private message through that.