Low Self Esteem - Do you suffer from it? You're not alone.

'Most fears of rejection rest on the desire for approval from other people. Don't base your self-esteem on their opinions.'

-Harvey Mackay

I think most of us know how it works on Youtube. You start watching a video of cats doing funny things and some how end up on a video showing you how to make your own boat out of tooth picks! My point is Youtube is random, it suggests really unrelated posts and you end up watching videos about anything and everything. Well this is what happened to me tonight.

If I'm being totally honest I started by watching a video on how to get up early in the morning. Yes that sounds like a stupid thing to be watching but now the kids are back at school and I'm forced into setting my alarm for stupid o clock in the morning, I thought surely someone has some trick on getting up early without feeling like crap. Anyway I'm going off point. (But if you are interested I didn't find one haha so feel free to link a good one in the comments.)

So after watching this I some how ended up watching a video of signs of low self esteem. 

I think for the majority of my life I was kind of aware I had low self esteem but it wasn't something I really thought about and in all honesty I tried to just push it to the back of my mind. I thought with age I'll get to the point where I don't care any more. 

But today I realised, how many opportunities will I miss waiting for this time to come? 

How many days will I be sad about it and therefore miss out on happy moments?

How many times will I beat myself up over something about myself because someone has made a comment? 

How many years will go by where I think I am worthless and what people say is true?  

I'm 26 years old now, 27 this year. Life is going by very quickly! I look back on my life so far and although I remember many times I've been happy and had great things come my way, like my children and my fiancé. I also think about the many opportunities I have missed because I have low self esteem. And do I want the next 26 years of my life to be the same? Or do I want the next 26 years to have even more happiness in than it has already had. 

Right lets get on to the signs of low self esteem that I found in this video I fell on. 

Indecisiveness. This was the first one. Are you the type of person who sits on the fence? Or really struggles to make a choice because you are worried about who you will upset or what conflict may become of the choice you make? Will someone not like me because my choice wasn't what they wanted?

Negative Self Talk. Do you come up with some great ideas but then talk yourself out of them? Maybe a business plan, but then talk yourself out of it by listing a million things that could go wrong instead of what could go right? Maybe you try on a dress that you love but then start telling yourself people might comment on it not suiting you? Or that your bum looks big? 

Fear of rejection. Are you constantly worried about being rejected? Maybe you want to make new friends but worry they'll reject you because you think you are not worthy or good enough. Or you want to start that business but you are in fear of people not wanting you or your product?

Materialistic. This video said being materialistic is a sign of low self esteem. At first I didn't get this but then I thought about it and realised how many people will buy the latest fashion trend to fit in, be accepted and think this product will make them likeable. 

Need to express accomplishments. This one I didn't even think about either. I have come across a few people in my life that have gone on and on and on about their accomplishments as if that makes them who they are. Now I'm not saying you shouldn't talk about your achievements, you should be proud of them and should talk about them, but I think the guy in the video meant the people who constantly repeat them or it's the only thing they talk about. As if it the only thing that gives them worth.

Values others opinions more than your own. This was the last one he mentioned in the video and I think this one is the most obvious sign of low self esteem. I think in some, not all cases, when selfies are posted, for example, people liking the photo or commenting nice things make people with low self esteem think for a moment, maybe I'm not so bad. I am totally guilty of valuing other peoples opinions over my own, when in reality people don't always have the right opinion for you and your life.

Anyway I know a lot of people would never admit outside of their own mind that they have low self esteem but just reading the comments on the Youtube video I watched, really showed me that I, we, are not alone. Many, many, many people out there suffer with low self esteem. Some of us may hide it better than others but it appears that it is very common.

I'm no expert obviously. I haven't done a huge study or got into the minds of 100's of people with low self esteem so I can't say everyone who suffers it experiences the same things as listed above. But going from my own personal experiences I tick pretty much every box.

And I guess I'm writing this post to admit it to myself and to also let others know that we are in the same boat and you are not alone. 

I probably couldn't pin point where the low self esteem started in my life, and over time it just became a list of life experiences that kind of just hammered a nail in the coffin so to say. But through my childhood I had many negative experiences mainly from adults. I was never bullied in Primary school but my low self esteem did start about primary school age.

All the negativity came from adults. Without going into too much detail. My mother rejected me, my step mother (now ex) would treat me like I was dirt and didn't fit in and my step aunty would constantly tell me I was ugly and that I would get fat. My mother would always tell me I needed to marry a rich man as if I would have no success on my own.

I remember one time I was writing a story for English class and my ex step mother read it, told me it was rubbish and that I couldn't write and she re did it. That stuck with me for years! 

High school came and I was bullied once but that didn't have much of an effect on me, it was a comment I got from a boy in science that destroyed me the most, he said I looked like a man. Which I know seems silly but I think people with low self esteem, things effect them more than they would other people. 

I wanted validation off someone, anyone that I wasn't completely worthless. I needed someone to show me in some way I wasn't. If I'm being truly honest with myself I think that's why I ended up pregnant with my eldest son. Which I know sounds insane and for the record he was a surprise but I felt I needed to be shown that someone wanted me and even though I was talentless, or stupid, or ugly. Someone, found me attractive so I must have a little bit of worth right? 

For the record, I love my eldest child and he pretty much saved me but he did come along because of my naivety.  

I think my self esteem was probably at it's lowest point by then. From then until now my esteem has been very low but it's not completely gone. Now I'm not suggesting in the slightest having children will fix it but for me personally it gave me a little bit of worth. I have my babies relying on me.

My adult life so far has pretty much had similar experiences and I've now realised my main problem is letting others opinions effect my view of myself. If I could stop caring what other's think or say then I would have no problem at all. But I guess that is easier said than done. 

I remember buying some new shoes that I totally loved and I walked outside with them on and someone comments on them being horrible. I was so upset and it really knocked my confidence. This wasn't actually too long ago. Not long after this comment, maybe a few weeks, someone else walked by in the same shoes and the same person who insulted them when I wore them, commented to this person how nice they were! Can you believe it?! 

My whole life I have, and still do, but not as much as I used to, listened to everyone's nasty comments, I took them as truth but this one example above just proved that the issue wasn't with me or in this case my shoes. The problem was with them!!

Now I hope this helps someone who is reading this, but from this experience I realised that it isn't about you, it is about the person putting you down or making you feel worthless. If we look into our low self esteem it all leads back to someone putting us down and continued from there. And what we haven't realised is maybe they aren't putting us down because they are right, maybe they are putting us down to make themselves feel of some worth?

Remember when your parents would tell you bullies were bullies because they had their own issues and it was a way of making them feel better about themselves? Well let me tell you, in most cases it is true and it continues into adult life. Bullies do not go away but what we need to do is repeatedly tell ourselves, 'it's not me, it's them.' We need to continue to remind our selves that we are worth something, we need to look at the positives in our lives, the people who do love us and try to focus on the good that they must see in us, or the good that got us the things that are great in our lives today.

If you have got this far reading this article I'm guessing you are thinking it is easier said than done and you are right. I myself still suffer but I am making tiny, tiny steps of progress. And come on that's better than nothing?! Surely it's worth a try. 

And I'm also guessing it will be mostly teens or adults who read this article. If you suffer with low self esteem or not at least take this from my post.....

The damage starts at a young age, we are not born feeling like this, when we are really little we believe we are the best at everything and can do everything. All until that person comes along and knocks us down. Don't be that someone who knocks others down. Be the person who lifts others up.

If we ourselves can start thinking and speaking more positively about others, we might just stop someone feeling completely worthless about themselves and hopefully in turn about ourselves. 

Don't be that nail in the coffin. 

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Afternoon Tea Hilton Hotel Cloud 23 Manchester Review - Belated Birthday Gift.

'There is something in the nature of tea that leads us into a world of quiet contemplation.'

- Lin Yutang

Anyone who knows me, knows just how much I like a good cup of tea. I can't go a day without one, or five haha. So obviously if there is an opportunity to have a cup of tea in a place with an amazing view, then you've just got to do it! 

So that's brings us to my post. I guess this one is a mix of telling you about my day and a mini review. You'll probably get a review of my experience through the main post but I'll put some key things down towards the end. 

If you read my engagement post you'll know that I visited Cloud 23 back in February with my now fiancé. I obviously went on to tell friends and family about our night but one person in particular got a tad jealous haha, my Father. 

My Dad is really into photography, he has been doing it many years and for anyone who knows a photographer, you will know how much they love a photo opportunity and to my Dad being 23 floors up, looking across Manchester's city skyline, it was an opportunity he really wanted. So as his birthday was this month I thought I'd treat him to afternoon tea at the Hilton's Cloud 23 as a belated birthday present. 

I'm not someone that you would class as 'posh' so going to somewhere that is expensive (expensive to me anyway), I did get a tad anxious about visiting. The usual, what do I wear? Will I fit in? Will it look super obvious that I don't usually visit places like this? So I was pretty nervous about going.

My Dad and myself arrived at reception. I walked on over to ask where we go. A very nice man behind reception walked us to the lift that goes directly to floor 23 and wished us a good day.

Once on level 23, Cloud 23, we were again greeted by another lovely man who took our names and gave us a few options of where we would like to sit. It was nice being given the choice of view. He handed us the menu for the Afternoon Tea options and left us to it. 

It was pretty simple. We had 2 options, the Traditional Afternoon Tea or the Champagne one. Given I can no longer handle even one glass of bubbly since having my youngest son, we opted for the traditional.

The view was amazing, I don't think anyone can argue with that. I think the majority of the world looks pretty great from high up. 

As predicted my Dad soon pulled his camera out and started taking pictures. He was in his element. 

I was so pleased we were able to have a Father Daughter Date and celebrate his birthday. As most know I am pretty close to my Dad but it's usually just cups of tea at home and general chit chat. Having the opportunity to actually do something together is always great.

Our Afternoon Tea was brought to the table by a very friendly waiter, he went through each tier and explained what we were having. The tea was pretty nice too. 

The next 2 hours were as expected, talking, taking pictures, sipping tea and nibbling on our food. Over all it was a great day and a nice experience. My Dad was happy and to be honest that's all I wanted. 

Unfortunately I'm now going to get to the harsh but honest bits of the day.

Traditional Afternoon Tea at this particular Hilton was priced at £23 each (correct price on 18/04/2016) This did include unlimited hot drinks, there were different types of tea on offer, coffee and also regular hot chocolate and white hot chocolate. 

We received a selection of sandwiches -tuna, ham, cucumber & cream cheese, roasted pepper and a mushroom pastry, these were on the middle tier.

Bottom tier - jam, fruit scones and clotted cream.

Top tier - a rocky road dessert, a raspberry trifle and a banana bread. 

I'm going to sound super mean now but I am being honest. The sandwiches were simple but nice, although the mushroom pastry did seem stale. The scones were lovely, I don't like fruit scones but I picked out the fruit and ate them. Super yummy. The rocky road dessert I didn't try as I found a hair in it when I went to snap a bit off. The trifle was yummy but definitely could not of eaten a bigger one. Last but not least the banana bread was to die for. It was delicious and I'd love the recipe! 

The staff were so friendly, made us feel welcome and comfortable. They were happy to help and always provided us with a smile. I believe nice staff really make the difference whenever you go anywhere. Many times I have been somewhere and hated the food but because the staff were wonderful always left a nice tip. 

Speaking of tips! They did add a service charge. In the UK it is not common practice to add a service charge anywhere, unless there are more than 6 people dining. So I was not impressed when I went to pay the bill and it had been added to it although there were only 2 of us. 

Although I am far from rich, I am always generous with tips, if, someone provides great service and I've had a nice experience. Even though majority of people do not tip in the UK I nearly always do.

I bet you were wondering now why I'm complaining about a service charge when I tip anyway?

Well, it really annoyed me simply for the fact they have put a price on their service. Surely I should decide how much I think their service was worth? I don't know why they do this at this hotel but I wasn't happy. Is it because most people who eat or drink there are rich but tight with their money? Or is it simply just random Hilton policy?

If anyone is reading this and now wondering what the service charge was, it was 10%. 

I may have missed the note about this charge when booking but for the record I'd of tipped more than the 10% but expecting the tip just annoyed me and if I'm honest ruined it a little bit. 

Conclusion...

It was a wonderful experience, the staff were awesome, you definitely are paying for the view not the food and the service charge annoyed me.

Would I go again? Probably not.

Did I regret going? Not at all, just to see that view does make it worth going at least once and my Dad had a great time so over all I was a happy girly! 

Not the most exciting blog post but it was an experience I wanted to share and also review. Thanks for reading and now I'm off to make myself a cup of tea ;) 

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I'm Back!

'Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.'

- Unknown

I'm back! So I vanished for almost a month simply because I've had a nightmare with laptops and it's pretty hard to blog from a phone. Anyway I'm back online and will be working on a few posts over the next few days.

I guess the quote above doesn't really cover my vanishing act simply because I kind of didn't have a choice but the quote still stands. Sometimes you do need to distance yourself, whether it's through choice or forced.

In my case it was forced but at the same time I haven't really been in the best frame of mind to blog. I'm been really up and down lately. Had some great days (which I will be posting about) and also some bad days (which I'm not sure yet whether I'll write about).

Lately I've been struggling to work out where I, Charlotte, fit in. I am a Mother, a daughter, a friend, a sister, a granddaughter but I didn't really feel like I'm just Charlotte. I don't really feel like I do anything just for me. During my month break from blogging I have realised that sometimes you need to be selfish and take time for you.

So hopefully I will start taking time for myself and maybe I'll blog about it.

Anyway if anyone missed me, I am now back and will give myself a well needed kick up the bottom to get back to work. 

Look out for new posts very soon! 

P.S It is so good being able to have a working computer again! 

Who Is Anti C Section?

'To witness the birth of a child is our best opportunity to experience the meaning of the word miracle.'

- Paul Carvel

Now I'm fully aware I am a little late on the band wagon for this one but this morning I saw a post on Facebook, shared by a friend about c-sections. 

Above is the post that I saw. Now I know the wording of this post is a little odd but you get the idea. C-section Mother's are proud of their scars. I have seen very similar posts like this before and didn't really think anything of it (probably why I'm a little late writing about it).

But today I thought who are these people that don't believe a woman is really a Mother if she didn't give birth 'naturally'? 

I think the reason I dismissed these posts in the past where because I thought, and I will offend, who are these attention seekers that have decided people don't think they are real mothers?

I honestly just thought it was attention seekers wanting a pat on the back for giving birth via c section. Yes I sound harsh saying that but I'm just telling the truth.

I have never thought, 'oh you had a c section, well you aren't a real mother then.' Seriously who would think that?! 

To me a Mother doesn't even need to give birth to a child to be a Mother! So who cares if baby arrived into the world via the birth canal or was cut out of the uterus? 

In my eyes a baby is a miracle no matter what. And I think it is an amazing process of how a baby is created. If you are a mother (biologically or not), look at your child, children now! At some point they were just a tiny little tadpole (sperm haha) and an egg. That's what they were in the beginning. That tiny they can't be seen by the naked eye and now look at them, they are wriggling, running, jumping around in front of you! So who cares how they exited the body, all that matters is they are here now, making your world that little bit brighter!  

You are a Mother because you cared/care for your child. You protect them, love them, would kill or die for them if it came to it. And I thought nobody cared about how they arrived but it appears I may be wrong. Now I say may as I'm still a little unsure. 

After a little research I found out that apparently the people who have caused this uproar are members of a church called, Disciples of the New Dawn. 

I will be honest though it was difficult to actually find their site. I did a quick Google of the name, did not mention c section in my search and almost all the links were to news sites, blogs, websites talking about them and their views. I didn't actually find them, the Disciples of the New Dawn, saying themselves this was how they felt about c section.

Some sites said that this church believed you were going to hell for having a c section. I even went onto the images section of the search and here are a couple of examples of what I found. 

None of these images were linked to the website of Disciples of the New Dawn website though. They were from new sites and websites unrelated.

During my time digging I did however find a Facebook page for them. But after reading it I did think, 'this is a load of rubbish.' I did not get the impression this was a religious group, it just came across as some huge troll wanting attention and succeeding. 

So I'm calling bull crap. I don't believe there is a church saying these things but if I am wrong and you have proof otherwise I honestly would love to see it. I will happily hold my hands up if I am wrong. I did find their actual website and couldn't find any information about c-sections. 

In conclusion, so long as we love a child unconditionally, care for them, provide for them and protect them then we are Mothers. No need to argue about how these children came into the world, they are all miracles no matter what. 

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Why I Started A Blog

'My journey hasn't been easy, but I'm still... standing, laughing, forgiving, loving, learning & living. I'm perfectly imperfect & unapologetically me.'

- Unknown

I am still very new to blogging and just wanted to write a quick message about why I started.

Before I go on, the reason I decided to write this now is because today, well yesterday as it's after midnight, my blog has had it's highest amount of views since I started. Charlotte Dakota's has had 967 views (11/03/2016) in the one day. Now I am fully aware this may not seem like many to most bloggers but to go from 157 the day before to over 900 the next day it was a little overwhelming. 

I never thought so many people would read my posts. While I think this is fantastic, it is also a tad worrying as it means I will know doubt upset more people. 

On my personal Facebook account I have been writing long posts to friends for years and had quite a few saying I should start a blog, then finally last year I did.

I did NOT start writing for other people, I started writing for me. 

When I first set my blog up I started to research information about blogs, how other people did it etc. I was told the way to have a successful blog was to pick a category. Beauty, Fashion, Travel etc. But I didn't want to write for success, I wanted to write for me.

My blog is 1st for me and 2nd for the World. It is my personal journey where I will write about what I want to write about, no matter which category it falls into. 

I have never been the type of person that falls into a certain topic. My passions change all the time, well I add to my passions should I say.

Also I am a very emotional person and when I say emotional I don't mean sad, upset type of person, I mean every emotion you can think of. Sometimes I'm super excited about something, sometimes I'm super angry. 

I am not the type of person who will write with other people in mind, I will not think 'will this offend anyone?' 

I go with my heart, I will write with passion and I hope when you read my posts that is what you notice. You may not always agree with some things I write. You may get angry or upset by them, or you may totally agree with me and think, 'yes I'm not alone'. But either way, whether you like them or not, I hope you notice that I write from the heart and I write what I want.

Please feel free to keep on reading my articles. I would love for you, and invite you to follow me on my blogging journey. And hopefully over time both myself and you (the readers) will be able to see my progress. Where I have grown, learnt, changed and maybe even improved on my writing skills. I want to see where my life was and how my passions have led me to different areas of discussion. 

Thank you to all of my readers. I am over the moon you have been able to read my posts and I do hope you enjoy them. If you don't, please do not take any of it personal (unless I guess I've named you directly haha). 

Just take my posts for what they are. I do not intend to upset or offend anyone but if I do along the way I am sorry but this is me. I am imperfectly perfect and thankfully many people close to me love me flaws and all. 

Thank you again for all of your support! :D Keep on reading! 

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Should Body Camera's Be Introduced For Care Workers?

'To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.'

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Today someone shared a post on Facebook of a care worker smoking and on the phone while the elderly man she was caring for was sat in his wheelchair with multiple bags on top on him.

Photo shared by a member of the public directly to Mencap via Facebook.

This woman apparently works, or should I say worked for Mencap as a care worker (She has since been suspended).  

It broke my heart when I saw this photo. To be honest I have seen multiple headlines of vulnerable people being let down, humiliated and even abused by care workers. 

Some of the headlines I have fallen across have been horrific; 

Care worker struck off after arriving for shift while drunk.

Seaford care worker ‘watched and laughed as husband beat children’

Health care worker who raided Alzheimer's patient's bank.

A care worker has been jailed for two-and-a-half years after he sexually assaulted an "utterly defenceless" woman with advanced cancer.

Direct Care Worker Arrested For Sexual Assault

Former assisted care worker pleads guilty to patient abuse

Three care workers caught on camera assaulting an elderly dementia sufferer

A CALLOUS carer was caught stealing cash from a 75-year-old

Now before I continue I would just like to make it clear that I know majority of care workers are good people and it's a job they deserve huge respect for as it must be very difficult. I do actually know a few care workers and thankfully they are good people who would never do anything like the above, to the people who depended on them. 

After seeing this recent post of the poor gentleman in the above photo being treated in such a disrespectful manner, it made me think of a conversation I recently had with my fiance. We were discussing that Police in certain areas were now wearing body camera's and they were wanting to roll it out across the whole of the UK. 

Back in 2014 a trial of 500 devices were being distributed to officers across 10 London boroughs. The pilot scheme came about after the death of Mark Duggan back in 2011 due to the criticism the Police received over his death. The camera's were designed to capture evidence. 

As expected many Police Officers felt under suspicion. I'm sure 99% of the Police Force are decent human beings that chose this career to serve and protect. Just I expect many care workers chose their profession to care for and protect vulnerable people, make a difference to their lives and make it a little be easier for them.  

As expected there were and are many criticisms of Police wearing body camera's. 

Officers would store material from each incident and keep it on file for a month unless it is required for evidential purposes. They were simply brought in to protect the officers, the victims and (unfortunately) the criminals. 

It also has shown positive results such as showing officers at their best, dealing with difficult and dangerous situations every day, but it will also provide clearer evidence when it's been alleged that we got things wrong.

It appears since 2014 that there has been an increase in body camera's within the Police force.

Anyway the reason I mentioned this was simply to ask, do you think it would be beneficial for the care worker and the vulnerable person if body camera's were introduced? 

Personally I think it would. It would protect both the care worker and the patient. If a care worker is accused of something they did not do, they would have proof of their evidence. And if a vulnerable was subject to some form of abuse it could be used as evidence to prosecute.  

It is sad that because of a minority of people, the majority have to suffer. There are many amazing people out there who care for young, elderly and vulnerable people. And I understand a lot of the good one's would be annoyed and upset at the idea of body camera's when they have done nothing wrong. But then again, why worry when you have nothing to hide. 

It is becoming more and more common for family members to place secret camera's within the rooms and homes of the people being cared for. Usually the staff and the patient are completely unaware they are being filmed. 

Wouldn't you rather know, be in control?

Wouldn't you rather put up with a body camera to show what a good job you are doing to save even just a few victims of bad carers? 

Not only would you be making a difference to the person you are caring for but you would also be helping to protect others. 

Anyway it was simply a random thought. I understand their would be a huge cost involved for initial start up costs of investing in the camera's and I understand this isn't even a option care companies are even thinking about at the moment. But I would love to know your thoughts on it?

Are you a care worker? Would you be okay with a scheme like this? Or would it make you mad? Do you have a family member who is cared for? Would something like this make you feel more at ease and that your loved one is in good hands? I'd love to hear your thoughts. 

Note - I would again like to make it clear that I am fully aware it is a minority of care workers who treat patients this way. I know many wonderful people in this career and I applaud you, I unfortunately do not have the emotional strength to do a job like this. Huge respect to you if you have. 

Real Life Parenting - What they don't put in the baby books!

'You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.'

- Franklin P Jones

I am the eldest child in my family but I had experience with babies and children before I actually had my own, but it is different having your own. 

You are expecting your first child and you think about lots of different things, you think about what kind of parent you will be. You buy the baby books and read up on how to care for a child. You think I'll have this nailed! You look at your own parents and pick the things you will do like they did, and the things you won't. You think you are prepared and just need to get through the tough bit of giving birth, or having your hand crushed whilst your partner gives birth! Oh how naive we are! 

Now don't get me wrong child birth is tough for both parents. With my daughter, I nearly dislocated her Dad's jaw pulling on it and she was my easiest birth! But compared to the rest of your life caring for a child, childbirth is a piece of cake. 

The truth is parenthood is damn hard! It's stressful, exhausting and scary. But it's also rewarding, worthwhile and hilarious! 

I have come across so many people who have said they won't allow their child to do such and such a thing and their child will do this activity, speak when spoken to, will behave, will get into a perfect sleeping routine, will only eat certain foods etc. And I am not attacking anyone saying that, I was one of them people haha. 

I am a huge believer in nature over nurture. Children are born with their own personalities and yes we can direct them and mold them to a certain point but, at the end of the day they will decide who and what they become. 

I have 3 children now and each one of them are unique in their own ways, they have all been raised with the same rules and yet are so different. My son is quiet and into his computers, my daughter is very outgoing, sporty and loves art and my youngest is only 7 months, old but already you can see his personality, he is going to be a little monkey, he is already very jolly and a real joker, thinks he's a mini comedian. 

So basically I am writing this article to tell you some of the things I wasn't told in the baby books, some of the things your children will more than likely do. They will show you up, test your patience, make a huge mess and put you in some very awkward situations. 

Lets start with some of my memories from when mine were babies. 

Poop up the back! Nobody told me about this, I presumed the nappies just some how ALWAYS managed to keep it in there, but nope they don't. You can go buy the branded nappies or the supermarkets own brand and I guarantee you will be cleaning poop off baby's back more than once! 

Nappy changing. If you can I suggest you practice on a doll and keep practicing until you can get the quickest time possible haha. You need to be damn fast when changing a nappy. All new parents are pretty slow in the beginning, think you have all the time in the world but you really don't! You get that nappy off, baby clean and nappy back on as quick as humanly possible before the little pee fountain gets you, oh and baby will find it very funny! 

Another tip on nappy changing, if you are going out, do it before you put your clean clothes on! I was all ready to go out one day, had a new skirt on that I loved and needed to change my eldest son's bum. He pooped all over my new skirt! It just shot out! I was gutted. :(   

Sleepless nights. Now I know you are thinking, yeah, yeah I already know about this one, baby will wake me up crying wanting food. Well I'm not talking about the hungry waking up, I'm talking about the waking up simply to play or in the case of my youngest just shout and 'sing'. He woke me up the other night, about 1am simply making really loud noises and laughing at himself. It's usually cute but when you have had about 4 hours sleep in the last 48 hours, it's not the best time! Haha 

Washing. There will be a lot of it! You think yeah I'll buy maybe 7-10 sleepsuits and vests, one a day and maybe the odd one for accidents, that way I can wash baby's clothes once a week. I will be such an organised parent. Keep dreaming. Baby's and children make soooooo much mess. They get alsorts on them and sometimes you wonder how they even managed it! Whether it's the expected, sick, poop, drool, food. Or the unexpected, a strange sticky substance, is that pen? Kids have you drawn on the baby?! Make sure you have a good washing machine and dryer! 

I could really keep going with what to expect with babies but there is too much and you need to know the next stage, when they can move! 

Toddlers, small kids, just simply anything after baby starts moving, up until about age 8 (that's just my experience haha)

Pens! You think you can hide them, you think you have binned them all but no that child has a secret stash, somewhere only they know. Trust me, I'm not being dramatic a child could find something to draw with in a empty room. I swear they are magic, have some secret power that can create pens or crayons out of thin air! And they will draw on everything! Your freshly decorated living room walls? Yep they'll draw on it. Your sofa's? Themselves? The cat? They will draw on anything and everything! Believe me! 

Moving. Oh dear, they have started to move! This is the stage where you cannot own anything that isn't childproof. They grab and climb on everything. To them the world is one huge climbing frame, and they will seek to conquer it. My eldest ended up on the microwave! How? I do not know, but he did it. 

Pets. Your poor pets have no idea what's coming. Our cat wasn't 100% sure what to expect with my youngest but has recently found out that baby likes to pull his fur out! Thankfully the cat is a good boy and just runs away. Poor thing. 

Attitude.  In my experience my daughter is worse for this than the boys. You think at such a young age they won't have an attitude problem. That's what teenagers go through? But nope, the little one's definitely do. Grumpiness, ignoring you, mad with you, upset. They are just mini teenagers. If looks could kill. 

No more starfishing. If you are one that loves to spread out in bed, wriggle around or even sleep in the middle say goodbye to that. Get ready for sleeping on the very edge while the kids take over, or maybe waking up with a foot in your face, or hand in your mouth. Kids love cuddles in bed with Mum and Dad. Obviously I'm being a tad over the top, it doesn't happen EVERY night, but most ;) haha. 

The other week I woke up to my youngest (Joseph 7 months old) who had wriggled around in the bed and now had his bottom right in my face. I was woken up by trumping (or farts as some people call them). Thankfully he had a nappy on so kind of protected me a little but still not great! 

Anytime from being able to talk next. You will be put into many awkward situations. Children are so curious and ask a million questions all the time because they are constantly learning. It's great that they want to know so much and look to you for the answers. It's an awesome feeling that your children think you are that amazing you know EVERYTHING. But it can also cause a few flushed faces.

Questions or observations. Children notice everything, you think they didn't hear or see you but they did, they definitely did. I guess for this bit it would be much easier to just give you examples. So here we go.

The supermarket checkout. You have just loaded all your shopping onto the till and are now waiting for your turn, someone is stood in front of you. One time the person stood in front of us happened to smell not so great. As an adult we know it is best to just keep your mouth shut and hold your breath, it's impolite to comment. Children don't think this way. My daughter decides to say at the top of her voice. 'Mum why does that person smell so bad?' I replied with, 'I can't smell anything, nobody smells bad.' She then even louder than before says, 'Mum that person smells really bad, she does, Mum smell her, she smells really bad! That one!' She then doesn't only point but pokes the woman in front who smelt. I wanted the ground to swallow me up there and then, I had no where to run or hide. I just had to smile and pretend nothing had happened. 

That was just one example, my daughter has said things similar to this before and since. I've had, why is that person so fat? Mum why is that person driving a car in the shops, they should walk (was a wheelchair). Look Mum that person has a funny face. That person has no hair! That person's skirt is tucked in their knickers. The list goes on. 

My son was similar, he saw a dwarf, or little person. If I'm honest I'm unsure of the correct term these days. He asked me why that man was so small, I explained and he got upset and asked me if he was a dwarf. The poor man heard the full conversation. 

No doubt I will have all this to come with my youngest. Thankfully he can't talk yet! 

Now I know I have made parenthood sound all negative. And I may have come across as a Mother who just complains about her kids but as awful and embarrassing as some of the above things sound I loved and still love every minute of being a parent. 

It's damn hard work and anyone who tells you it's not is a liar. Children are so unpredictable and can catch you out at any moment, they can stress you out and can be naughty but they are so amazing and we have to remember they are creating their own stories but they seek us for guidance and we need to be there for the good, the bad and the ugly. 

It is all worth it as you will be rewarded for your hard work. The overwhelming love you feel for your children makes you feel like you could explode, as you just can't contain how much you love them. They will make you laugh, they will make you proud. You will enjoy watching them learn and grow. And you will look back at the gross stuff and laugh. My two older children love hearing stories of when they were younger. 

Oh and just so you don't lose all hope, they come in handy when they get older too. Check out my son cooking dinner, under my supervision obviously. And my daughter rubbing lotion onto my sunburned legs. 

Life with children will never be lonely or dull. You will forever have someone to love and someone who loves you back, you will have many fun times together, and create many special memories. Being a parent with one of the most, if not the most, rewarding thing that will ever happen to you. 

Enjoy your journey through parenting, it begins now and never ends. 

From all of us, enjoy being a family! Warts and all. xXx