It was a very empowering experience for me to give birth that way. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced, but I lived through it. Now I want to shake every pregnant woman I know and say 'have a home birth!'
-Susanne Scott Rosenfeld
When I was 10 years old my step Mother chose a home birth for my younger brother Benjamin. I don't remember too much of it but what I do remember stayed with me ever since. I was fast asleep in the middle of the night and was shaken awake by her telling me her waters had broke. I was 10 so it didn't really mean much to me but then the next morning I was woken by the sounds of a pregnant lady pushing (I'm sure I don't need to describe that sound haha). It was about 7:15am on the 1st December and all of a sudden myself and my brothers and sister heard a baby crying.
We all ran upstairs as fast as we could and were all able to meet our new brother, minutes after he had arrived into the world. It was amazing and I honestly feel I have a stronger connection with my little brother because of that.
Ever since then I always wanted a home birth but unfortunately it took baby number 3 to get my wish.
With my first child I was very young so had to have a hospital birth, I didn't know much about birth and just went along with what every body told me, so it ended in a very painful hospital birth, no pain relief, being cut and then dying afterwards. So yeah, not the nicest experience. I later found out I contracted the thing that killed me from hospital! Surely that's enough to put anyone off having a baby in hospital!
3 years later I became pregnant with my 2nd child, due to the bad experience with my first the doctors refused to allow me to have a home birth. I wasn't a happy bunny but seemed I had no choice. I did choose to stay at home til the very last minute to avoid any medical intervention (I'm sure hospitals get excited about drugging up mothers or cutting them up!). Thankfully this birth went smooth, no pain relief and I was pushing as soon as I arrived at hospital, my daughter was born soon after.
So that's the back ground of my births but thankfully as my 2nd birth went so well, this time I was able to have the home birth I wanted! :)
Guess it's time to jump forward 6 years! I'll be totally honest, this pregnancy was unplanned. I sobbed for over an hour when I found out I was pregnant, I had no idea what I was going to do, how I was going to handle it. I was just getting on with life, back in work, children both in school, finishing my studies and then I get this little surprise.
Now I know I will be hated for some of my comments on this pregnancy but I feel it's probably best to be honest.
So I cried for over an hour, and I hate to say it but for a split second abortion crossed my mind. I had always been against abortion (except in extreme circumstances) and the guilt still eats me up that it even crossed my mind but no I was going to handle this. I already have two, I can do this with a 3rd child.
Time to tell the family I guess. I walked round to my Dad's house to talk to him and his wife and tell them the news. I was in tears, cried as I announced, 'I'm pregnant.'
I didn't get the reaction I expected, my Dad just started laughing. I was shocked. He said he had received a fine over his motorbike the day before but now it didn't seem like anything compared to this. Thankfully he was supportive, both him and his wife comforted me and said I can do this.
I was still coming to terms with the idea of being pregnant. I know I should be so grateful I am able to have children as so many can't, but hey we are human and can sometimes be selfish. I had accepted I was going to have another child but I wasn't happy about the idea.
10 weeks into my pregnancy I started heavily bleeding, completely out of no where. I thought this is it, I've lost the baby. I was heart broken. It took losing the baby to make me realise how much I wanted him. At the end of the day he was my child and I was his Mother, it was my job to care and protect him.
I thought that was it, he had gone. I was just going to leave it at that but thankfully my Dad's wife Audrey repeatedly told me to go to the hospital just to check. I gave in the next day and went.
And there he was on the screen. My very own little jelly baby, wriggling around inside me with a strong heartbeat. I was so happy to see he was hanging in there.
10 week scan.
Both of my children witnessed me bleeding so they thought they had lost their baby brother so it was wonderful to pick them up from school and show them he was still hanging in there.
The rest of the pregnancy was the typical boring pregnancy. Lots of morning sickness, SPD, back ache, going off certain foods, craving certain foods, moodiness (which my partner suffered the most for). Just a normal pregnancy I guess.
20 week scan (when I found out baby was a boy)
So fast forward to the end of the pregnancy. I was fat, struggling to walk and just wanted baby out! How majority of pregnant women feel at the end I'm guessing haha.
My due date came and went. I felt like he was never going to come out. For weeks I had been making sure everywhere was clean and tidy in case tonight was the night but nope. He still didn't come. Then on the Tuesday night I was shattered, the pots needed washing but I thought forget it I'll do it in the morning.
1am on the 12th August. I had been happily snoozing, tucked up in bed. My eldest son Joshua decided to sleep in my bed that night (he is 9). I woke up thinking I had wet myself (Oh best mention, my waters never broke with my others, they had to be popped, my daughter was still in hers when she was being born). Then I realised I hadn't wet myself, my waters had broke!! The water was literally gushing out.
I shook my son to wake him up to help me. My partner was away for work so it was just me and the children. My son woke up not having a clue what was going on.
"Joshua! My waters have broke, pass me that towel please!"
Half asleep my son grabbed everything I asked for. I cleaned myself up and thought, 'crap! What do I do now?'
My son was awesome, by this point he had woken up properly and talked me through it all. He said, 'Mummy you need to ring the midwife, Nanna, Grandad and Alex! Do you need me to do it?' 9 years old and he was in more control than me!
While all this was happening my daughter was fast asleep in her room haha.
I made it down the stairs, let my Dad know, let my Nan know, Alex and then I phoned the hospital.
Now remember it was 1am this was all happening. I phoned the hospital and told them my waters had broke, I was having contractions, I was having a home birth, so what do I do?! The hospital just sounded like they didn't care. Just told me to come to hospital at 7am and they would check if it was my waters. Seriously!!???!! I told them I was having this baby soon but as usual they didn't believe me.
Nan showed up 20 minutes later. My contractions were very strong and very close together yet the only thing I could think was, I haven't washed the pots! Nan to the rescue.
I rang the hospital back and said I'm having this baby! Send the midwife!
Dad was on his way round, Midwife was on her way and Alex was far away with work and sleeping through all my messages! Haha.
I was bouncing on my birth ball, hot water bottle on my back and my son was running a bath for pain relief for me.
Honestly I couldn't believe at 9 years old how in control he was. I was so proud of him. Unfortunately I never made it to the bath, things were moving too quickly.
My contractions were probably less than a minute apart, the first chance I got between contractions, I ran up the stairs to my room, ready to have this baby.
Unfortunately because of the pain I only remember parts of the birth. The contractions were getting hard to handle by now. My Dad had arrived and the Midwife by now. The Midwife came into my room, informed me another Midwife was on her way too and then asked if I wanted them to send for gas and air. I told them there wasn't time, she just agreed.
Nan was my birth partner, my Dad was tea lady/photographer for the night and my son was on cat control. The cat kept trying to get into my room so Joshua had to keep getting him out haha.
Time to push. I went from kneeling on the floor to kneeling on the bed. Any position to try to make it easier. The midwives got everything set up and continuously checked baby's heart beat. Nan would rub my back to try and help with the pain and give me water through out. I couldn't have done it without her, or any of my family in fact!
The midwives were amazing, so friendly, so in control and really eased my mind that this was all going to be okay. I had planned my home birth for months and knew everything I wanted but these midwives didn't know my plan and I didn't really have chance to explain so during a contraction I just shouted out, 'Oral Vit K, delayed cord clamping and breastfeeding! I'm sorry, I'm not telling you how to do your job, just trying to let you know what I want, I'm sorry.'
Most of it became a bit of a blur from then, I remember bits but not too much, just the pain.
I remember Nan telling the midwives that I apologize for breathing. One midwife said she couldn't believe how well I was doing without pain relief, she said I was handling the pain like a woman who had an epidural. Go me! :D
They continued to check baby's heartbeat. Dad was passing cups of tea through the bedroom door whilst turning away so he didn't see and Nan continued to rub my back.
Then baby's heartbeat dropped. A lot!
I'll be honest, I started to panic. I wanted him to be safe and healthy. Until this point the midwives had just talked to me and let me get through it how I wanted. They both then explained the baby's heartbeat had dropped and that they needed him out. They were so calm and in control. It helped me relax and trust them.
The Midwife then made me change position and talked me through pushing and breathing. I had never experienced 'The Ring of Fire' as I had heard a lot of Mum's call it but boy did I feel it this time, it stung and was worse than the pain of contractions haha.
Baby made it out safe and healthy at 3:18am, weighing 8lb, delayed cord clamping, oral Vitamin K, skin to skin and breastfed. Only 2 hours and 18minutes after my waters broke. Not bad timing if I do say so myself. I had done it! I had my first home birth!
I was so happy, finally holding my new child in my arms. The Midwives were even crying. It was so amazing.
They covered me up and proceeded to get the children and my Dad. Nan, Dad, Joshua and Katelyn were all able to meet my new son, their new Grandchild, their new brother, minutes after birth. I can't even describe how fantastic it was. I was so so so so happy.
Joshua and Katelyn meeting their new brother Joseph Stephen.
Out of all 3 of my births this was by far the best. No scary hospitals, my home comforts, as many people as I wished in the home at the time. Amazing support. Totally awesome Midwives and a proper cuppa tea! ;)
I would encourage anyone who is able to have a home birth to have one! You won't regret it!
Joseph Stephen, one of his first photos.
Last little note. I want to say a huge thank you to my Nan, my Dad, my children Joshua and Katelyn and of course the truly amazing Midwives that I was so blessed to be able to have.
Oh and also if anyone is wondering and considering a home birth, they do clean up any mess too! I kept telling them to leave it but they insisted, you get the complete package!
Thank you for reading! Hope maybe you will consider a home birth next time?
Also if anyone has any questions about my home birth feel free to ask in the comments section or like my Facebook page and send a private message through that.
