How to Win at Parenting! - It's 2.47am....

I usually find a fitting quote to put at the top of each post but right now I can't find or think of one. It's 2.48am now and I'm out of bed and on my laptop. This is totally out of character for me, I need my sleep. I really struggle to function without it. Sounds silly but if I don't get enough sleep I literally have the worst tummy ache ever! What has my tummy got to do with sleep? Literally nothing will shift this tummy ache other than sleep. It's so bazaar.

I'm meant to be up at 6.30am for the school run. Pop the kettle on, make a cup of tea and then get my sprogs up and out of bed.

My Sprogs! ;)

Tonight I got tucked up in bed at 10.30pm. I thought I'd get an early night and I'll feel good in the morning. I managed to fall asleep but then baby Joseph woke me up crying, I went in and nursed him, settled him back down and went back to bed. He woke up again, about an hour later, I went back in and tried to settle him but he wanted nursing AGAIN! I nursed him again and settled him back down and climbed back into bed. It was about 12.30am by then. 

Could I go back to sleep? Could I heck! No chance. So I'm lay in bed feeling shattered and completely drained because he nursed 2 times more than he normally would and I just can't sleep, I'm tossing and turning. 

It doesn't help that I struggle to switch my brain off, so it was working over time. All I could think about was how exhausted I was, how I literally haven't stopped this weekend and all I want to do is catch up on sleep and recharge my batteries. I feel like everyone just wants to drain every little last ounce of energy I have left. Sounds dramatic I know but I feel like people just won't be satisfied until I literally collapse out of exhaustion.  

All 3 of us were poorly in this picture.

So a few hours of tossing and turning and my mind working overtime and here I am sat in front of my laptop at now 2.57am! Way past my, boring grown up life, bedtime.

I know I sound pathetic, having a moan when there are people much, much, much worse off than me in the world. And I know I am so, so blessed for my children and my partner but I'm human, I'm not perfect, so I will complain and moan about stuff from time to time. Today, this morning, is one of them times.

I can't afford therapy so you lot have to listen instead haha.

I'm a damn good mother, I'm not perfect but I am a good Mum. I give it everything I have got. Now before someone gets upset, I am not saying I am better than anyone else, I am just saying I fall in the good mother group, as may a lot of you.

But being a good mother doesn't mean you always get it right.

My eldest. I couldn't cope without him.

It doesn't mean you never complain or that you never cry, or lose your temper, It doesn't mean you only feed your children 100% organic, vegan everything and never let them watch TV.

Being a good mother is giving it your best and never, ever turning your back on your children. You might moan a bit but you'd NEVER turn your back on your kids. That's what being a good parent is, mother or father, being there for your children.

If your children know that no matter what happens you will always be there for them, then you have WON parenting. Seriously. That's all I ever wished for growing up. 

Thumbs up from Katelyn.

So I swore I would never turn my back on my children, and so far I haven't and I promise you now, I never will. 

I might complain and I might want a few hours alone, just me so I can pull myself together and get my energy back but that isn't turning my back on my children.

I'm complaining right now but I still went into Joseph every time he woke. This morning I was cleaning him up after he threw up all over himself and was crying because he didn't know what was going on. I was shattered but I was still there. I was there last week when Katelyn was randomly crying her eyes out, she didn't even know why (I think she was tired). I had loads to do, it was past her bedtime but I sat there and I held her and I let her cry.  

Flipping heck I came back from the dead after having Joshua, surely that's proof enough that I'm not turning my back on my kids, I just need to moan and cry and feel sorry for myself for a little bit haha. 

I didn't have a point to this post originally, I just felt I needed to type. I thought it might help and to be honest it actually has and has some how turned into a post that has a point...

...if you are there for your children, support them in the best way YOU can and you never turn your back on them, then you are a damn good parent! Even if you do moan and complain from time to time. 

So if you feel like I do right now, or have done in the past, don't hate yourself for it. We are human. You are still there for your children, you are still plodding along, giving all you can. So in my eyes, that's a WIN!  

My smallest monkey agrees.

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No Spend Month Challenge - Week 1

Sometimes, we need to stop analyzing the past and start planning the future.

- Unknown

It's Sunday the 1st of January, day 1 of my challenge and I decided the best plan of action was to see what I actually have in my cupboards to eat! 

We ALL have the odd tin right at the back that we aren't too sure if it's been there months or years. I know I'm not the only one who doesn't know EVERYTHING in her cupboards, so I wrote a list.

I went through all the cupboards and the fridge and the freezers and wrote down every single, in date, item that I had which was edible. Turns out I had quite a bit. 

Side note - I was in the shops the other week and swore I needed OXO cubes so I bought some. After doing this inventory of my food items, it turned out I already had a packet! I could have saved myself £2! 

After my food inventory I wrote down a list of evening meals for the week. Feels like I'm off to a good start. 😎

Day 1 - I spent nothing. I didn't need to. We had cereal for breakfast and then had a huge lunch/dinner at my Nan's house (free food, yay!) so nothing else was needed. Nice start to the challenge.

Yes I know I didn't spell potato and possibly some other words, correct! 

Haha 

But this was my meal list and my inventory.

TIP - Write down an inventory of food in your home and plan your meals for at least the week.

Day 2 - I was doing so well but ended up spending £3.50 today. £2 on laundry softener and £1.50 on a bottle of cordial. Now in my defence these were classed as necessities in our house. I was catching up on all the washing in the house and couldn't do it without softener and the cordial, well I just can't handle drinking water on it's own, knocks me sick. I'm totally ashamed but I have a sweet tooth, a really strong sweet tooth. 

I was however pretty proud of myself for not buying any chocolate or sweets whilst in the shop so that's a bonus. 

I have also started writing down in a little notebook every penny I am spending. I might learn a thing or two about my spending habits.

TIP - Write down every single thing you are spending money on, it might reveal a few things about your spending habits! 

This has really shown me just where my money goes. I recommend it.

Day 3 - We haven't left the house, so haven't spent anything. Today is the last day before the children go back to school so it's been a day of cleaning, cooking and washing. What an exciting life I lead! We had Spanish Chicken today with rice for our tea. I loved it and it used all ingredients that I already had in from doing the food inventory. 

Spanish chicken! I loved it! Yummy!

Day 4 - I'm ashamed of myself. I caved and spent £1.50 on Gold Bars! Two packets! Huge huge fail on my part. Another big fail, I spent £3 in the corner shop on a bottle of milk and a loaf of bread, which doesn't sound that bad until I tell you that later on I went to Iceland and got another loaf of bread (for the freezer to use next week) for £1 (same brand and size) and I bought a bottle of milk for £1 instead of £1.50 like at the shop. I could have saved £1 if I had gone to Iceland in the first place. I did buy a few groceries there but all necessities, excluding the gold bars which I already confessed too.

Oh one bargain thing though. I managed to pick up two 3 litre bottles of the exact same cordial I bought the other day for £3 each. That should last the rest of the month! I got 725ml for £1.50 in the corner shop and just bought 3 litres for £3. Huge, huge price difference.

TIP - Buying in bulk can sometimes save you some pennies! But make sure you always check the price against the smaller items though. Looking at price per 100g or price per 100ml usually helps. This will be listed on the price label on the store shelf.   

Day 5 - Nothing to report, I was a good girl and didn't spend a penny!

I behaved and kept my purse closed!

Day 6 - I did a big shop today but before I left the house I wrote out a list of meals, for next week and I then wrote down my shopping list and I made sure I stuck to it. Everything I bought was classed as a necessity so I'm pretty proud of myself.

Day 7 - Last day of the week. We managed a date day, ish. We went to the cinema to see Passengers. The way we got around this was vouchers haha. We had cinema vouchers from last year and then I took popcorn and a can of pop (soda for Americans) in my handbag for the each of us so today was another no spend! 

We did have a treat of chocolate chip cookies though! Homemade from ingredients I already had in the cupboard! Bonus! 

TIP - Use them vouchers if you like. I know a lot of people get vouchers for Christmas so use them, they were paid for before Christmas so technically it's money that's already been spent. 

This was super yummy! Avocado mashed up and spread onto a slice of toast

with 2 poached eggs and roasted plum tomatoes. Only sharing in case you fancied trying it.  

Over all how has this week been? It's been okay. I've learnt a lot by writing down everything I've spent and I haven't wasted food because I stuck to a meal plan and the only fail I really had was purchasing my dreaded addiction of Gold Bars (they should seriously start a support group for this!). 

I think I will have a few meals for lunch for me and Joseph for next week too. The 2 other children have school dinners so me and baby Joseph can eat the leftovers from last week! After cooking a few meals I had enough left over for one more person so I popped it in the freeze!

TIP - Most leftovers you can actually freeze. Comes in handy for lunch or dinner on another day. Remember to wait for the food to cool before putting it in the freezer. 

Anyway I have probably bored you enough so I will finish up. I've coped this week but it's only early days, the novelty will possible wear off. But I have saved money this week, which was my original intention so that has been popped into a savings account I have just opened. Yay!

You've got to start somewhere, right? 😁

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No Spend Month Challenge.

Beware of little expenses. A small leak will sink a great ship.

- Benjamin Franklin

I recently read about this no spend challenge, I'd heard about it briefly in the past but didn't know much about it. In all honesty I thought they literally meant no spending and simply begging or bartering your way through the month. Obviously I was wrong! 😂 It wasn't that bad.

So the no spend challenge is no spending EXCEPT your regular bills and your basic groceries. That's all you are allowed to spend money on. 

ALLOWED EXAMPLES

• Rent
• Gas
• Electric
• Council Tax
• Phone bill
• Any regular bills...
• Basic food shop

NOT ALLOWED EXAMPLES

• Takeaways
• Drinking
• Cinema
• Clothes shopping
• Fizzy drinks
• New electronics 

Now I'm sure the rules slightly change for some people depending on how they think. I mentioned this challenge in a money saving group (that name should be used loosely) and many people were either completely in denial or just have different views on what a necessity is. Some believe a bottle of wine and a bar of chocolate would be a necessity, I personally see that as a luxury and to be totally honest you won't save much if you keep purchasing your booze over the month. Oh and others kept commenting that they live this way all the time but pictures say otherwise. (For the record I have no issue with people treating themselves and enjoying luxuries but it's an insult to a persons intelligence if somebody lies about it.)

So this no spend month isn't meant to be fun in the traditional sense, it's a challenge, it will have tough times. But it seems to be a good idea to give your savings that bit of a boost.

I'm guessing I'm not alone when I say I have zero savings. I'm ashamed to admit that at age 27, but it's the truth. I don't have any savings and for some reason this is now starting to concern me more than it used to. I mean what if something goes wrong and I am unable to pay my rent one month, I have literally nothing to fall back on and with 3 children I think it's about time I tried to change this. 

Now I know this is a short post but it was really just to give a brief idea of what the challenge is. I have started this challenge myself and I have started a post on it but I plan on finishing that over the course of this month and then you will get a decent idea of how I coped and what I managed to save.

Fancy joining me for this challenge? If so I'd love to hear how people get on and also any tips your might have to help. Either leave a comment, message me or post on my Facebook 'like' page. 

Giddy up horsey! Onwards to our savings boost!

Watch this space! 😎

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Sorry I Vanished.

Stop allowing other people to dilute or poison your day with their words or opinions. Stand strong in the truth of your beauty and journey through your day without attachment to the validation of others.

- Dr Steve Maraboli

Just a quick one. I was really enjoying writing this blog. I felt it was somewhere I could voice what I was thinking and still involve others by having it public. Unfortunately I have ended up with a few back stabbers and haters in my life and they tried to cause a lot of trouble for me. Thankfully they failed as the truth does always prevail, may take a while but it does. 

Now I say they failed, they did in the way they wanted to hurt me but they did succeed in hurting me in another way. It totally knocked me back and made me hide from the world to a certain extent. I felt I could no longer trust anyone, including some of my family, it's the main reason why I stopped posting. I worried someone could use something from this to try and get to me again. 

Anyway after these long months of not posting anything, I have had time to work on me. I've come to realise that I don't need people like that in my life (I've separated myself from a few) and the people that try to destroy me from the shadows will no doubt still be there, but the best thing I can do is carry on. If I carry on then they lose. Hopefully it will be like at school when your parents would tell you that the bullies will soon get bored. Fingers crossed. ;) 

So now we are in the new year I have decided to try and pick things up again and get back to writing random things on here. Some may be of some interest and some may not but as the quote at the top says I will stop allowing other people to dilute or poison my day. I will stand strong and write whatever it is that I want. 

Thanks for reading and hopefully I'll have a new post for you soon. 

Oh and Happy New Year!!