'You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.'
- Franklin P Jones
I am the eldest child in my family but I had experience with babies and children before I actually had my own, but it is different having your own.
You are expecting your first child and you think about lots of different things, you think about what kind of parent you will be. You buy the baby books and read up on how to care for a child. You think I'll have this nailed! You look at your own parents and pick the things you will do like they did, and the things you won't. You think you are prepared and just need to get through the tough bit of giving birth, or having your hand crushed whilst your partner gives birth! Oh how naive we are!
Now don't get me wrong child birth is tough for both parents. With my daughter, I nearly dislocated her Dad's jaw pulling on it and she was my easiest birth! But compared to the rest of your life caring for a child, childbirth is a piece of cake.
The truth is parenthood is damn hard! It's stressful, exhausting and scary. But it's also rewarding, worthwhile and hilarious!
I have come across so many people who have said they won't allow their child to do such and such a thing and their child will do this activity, speak when spoken to, will behave, will get into a perfect sleeping routine, will only eat certain foods etc. And I am not attacking anyone saying that, I was one of them people haha.
I am a huge believer in nature over nurture. Children are born with their own personalities and yes we can direct them and mold them to a certain point but, at the end of the day they will decide who and what they become.
I have 3 children now and each one of them are unique in their own ways, they have all been raised with the same rules and yet are so different. My son is quiet and into his computers, my daughter is very outgoing, sporty and loves art and my youngest is only 7 months, old but already you can see his personality, he is going to be a little monkey, he is already very jolly and a real joker, thinks he's a mini comedian.
So basically I am writing this article to tell you some of the things I wasn't told in the baby books, some of the things your children will more than likely do. They will show you up, test your patience, make a huge mess and put you in some very awkward situations.
Lets start with some of my memories from when mine were babies.
Poop up the back! Nobody told me about this, I presumed the nappies just some how ALWAYS managed to keep it in there, but nope they don't. You can go buy the branded nappies or the supermarkets own brand and I guarantee you will be cleaning poop off baby's back more than once!
Nappy changing. If you can I suggest you practice on a doll and keep practicing until you can get the quickest time possible haha. You need to be damn fast when changing a nappy. All new parents are pretty slow in the beginning, think you have all the time in the world but you really don't! You get that nappy off, baby clean and nappy back on as quick as humanly possible before the little pee fountain gets you, oh and baby will find it very funny!
Another tip on nappy changing, if you are going out, do it before you put your clean clothes on! I was all ready to go out one day, had a new skirt on that I loved and needed to change my eldest son's bum. He pooped all over my new skirt! It just shot out! I was gutted. :(
Sleepless nights. Now I know you are thinking, yeah, yeah I already know about this one, baby will wake me up crying wanting food. Well I'm not talking about the hungry waking up, I'm talking about the waking up simply to play or in the case of my youngest just shout and 'sing'. He woke me up the other night, about 1am simply making really loud noises and laughing at himself. It's usually cute but when you have had about 4 hours sleep in the last 48 hours, it's not the best time! Haha
Washing. There will be a lot of it! You think yeah I'll buy maybe 7-10 sleepsuits and vests, one a day and maybe the odd one for accidents, that way I can wash baby's clothes once a week. I will be such an organised parent. Keep dreaming. Baby's and children make soooooo much mess. They get alsorts on them and sometimes you wonder how they even managed it! Whether it's the expected, sick, poop, drool, food. Or the unexpected, a strange sticky substance, is that pen? Kids have you drawn on the baby?! Make sure you have a good washing machine and dryer!
I could really keep going with what to expect with babies but there is too much and you need to know the next stage, when they can move!
Toddlers, small kids, just simply anything after baby starts moving, up until about age 8 (that's just my experience haha)
Pens! You think you can hide them, you think you have binned them all but no that child has a secret stash, somewhere only they know. Trust me, I'm not being dramatic a child could find something to draw with in a empty room. I swear they are magic, have some secret power that can create pens or crayons out of thin air! And they will draw on everything! Your freshly decorated living room walls? Yep they'll draw on it. Your sofa's? Themselves? The cat? They will draw on anything and everything! Believe me!
Moving. Oh dear, they have started to move! This is the stage where you cannot own anything that isn't childproof. They grab and climb on everything. To them the world is one huge climbing frame, and they will seek to conquer it. My eldest ended up on the microwave! How? I do not know, but he did it.
Pets. Your poor pets have no idea what's coming. Our cat wasn't 100% sure what to expect with my youngest but has recently found out that baby likes to pull his fur out! Thankfully the cat is a good boy and just runs away. Poor thing.
Attitude. In my experience my daughter is worse for this than the boys. You think at such a young age they won't have an attitude problem. That's what teenagers go through? But nope, the little one's definitely do. Grumpiness, ignoring you, mad with you, upset. They are just mini teenagers. If looks could kill.
Anytime from being able to talk next. You will be put into many awkward situations. Children are so curious and ask a million questions all the time because they are constantly learning. It's great that they want to know so much and look to you for the answers. It's an awesome feeling that your children think you are that amazing you know EVERYTHING. But it can also cause a few flushed faces.
Questions or observations. Children notice everything, you think they didn't hear or see you but they did, they definitely did. I guess for this bit it would be much easier to just give you examples. So here we go.
The supermarket checkout. You have just loaded all your shopping onto the till and are now waiting for your turn, someone is stood in front of you. One time the person stood in front of us happened to smell not so great. As an adult we know it is best to just keep your mouth shut and hold your breath, it's impolite to comment. Children don't think this way. My daughter decides to say at the top of her voice. 'Mum why does that person smell so bad?' I replied with, 'I can't smell anything, nobody smells bad.' She then even louder than before says, 'Mum that person smells really bad, she does, Mum smell her, she smells really bad! That one!' She then doesn't only point but pokes the woman in front who smelt. I wanted the ground to swallow me up there and then, I had no where to run or hide. I just had to smile and pretend nothing had happened.
That was just one example, my daughter has said things similar to this before and since. I've had, why is that person so fat? Mum why is that person driving a car in the shops, they should walk (was a wheelchair). Look Mum that person has a funny face. That person has no hair! That person's skirt is tucked in their knickers. The list goes on.
My son was similar, he saw a dwarf, or little person. If I'm honest I'm unsure of the correct term these days. He asked me why that man was so small, I explained and he got upset and asked me if he was a dwarf. The poor man heard the full conversation.
No doubt I will have all this to come with my youngest. Thankfully he can't talk yet!
I am a huge believer in nature over nurture. Children are born with their own personalities and yes we can direct them and mold them to a certain point but, at the end of the day they will decide who and what they become.
I have 3 children now and each one of them are unique in their own ways, they have all been raised with the same rules and yet are so different. My son is quiet and into his computers, my daughter is very outgoing, sporty and loves art and my youngest is only 7 months, old but already you can see his personality, he is going to be a little monkey, he is already very jolly and a real joker, thinks he's a mini comedian.
So basically I am writing this article to tell you some of the things I wasn't told in the baby books, some of the things your children will more than likely do. They will show you up, test your patience, make a huge mess and put you in some very awkward situations.
Lets start with some of my memories from when mine were babies.
Poop up the back! Nobody told me about this, I presumed the nappies just some how ALWAYS managed to keep it in there, but nope they don't. You can go buy the branded nappies or the supermarkets own brand and I guarantee you will be cleaning poop off baby's back more than once!
Nappy changing. If you can I suggest you practice on a doll and keep practicing until you can get the quickest time possible haha. You need to be damn fast when changing a nappy. All new parents are pretty slow in the beginning, think you have all the time in the world but you really don't! You get that nappy off, baby clean and nappy back on as quick as humanly possible before the little pee fountain gets you, oh and baby will find it very funny!
Another tip on nappy changing, if you are going out, do it before you put your clean clothes on! I was all ready to go out one day, had a new skirt on that I loved and needed to change my eldest son's bum. He pooped all over my new skirt! It just shot out! I was gutted. :(
Sleepless nights. Now I know you are thinking, yeah, yeah I already know about this one, baby will wake me up crying wanting food. Well I'm not talking about the hungry waking up, I'm talking about the waking up simply to play or in the case of my youngest just shout and 'sing'. He woke me up the other night, about 1am simply making really loud noises and laughing at himself. It's usually cute but when you have had about 4 hours sleep in the last 48 hours, it's not the best time! Haha
Washing. There will be a lot of it! You think yeah I'll buy maybe 7-10 sleepsuits and vests, one a day and maybe the odd one for accidents, that way I can wash baby's clothes once a week. I will be such an organised parent. Keep dreaming. Baby's and children make soooooo much mess. They get alsorts on them and sometimes you wonder how they even managed it! Whether it's the expected, sick, poop, drool, food. Or the unexpected, a strange sticky substance, is that pen? Kids have you drawn on the baby?! Make sure you have a good washing machine and dryer!
I could really keep going with what to expect with babies but there is too much and you need to know the next stage, when they can move!
Toddlers, small kids, just simply anything after baby starts moving, up until about age 8 (that's just my experience haha)
Pens! You think you can hide them, you think you have binned them all but no that child has a secret stash, somewhere only they know. Trust me, I'm not being dramatic a child could find something to draw with in a empty room. I swear they are magic, have some secret power that can create pens or crayons out of thin air! And they will draw on everything! Your freshly decorated living room walls? Yep they'll draw on it. Your sofa's? Themselves? The cat? They will draw on anything and everything! Believe me!
Moving. Oh dear, they have started to move! This is the stage where you cannot own anything that isn't childproof. They grab and climb on everything. To them the world is one huge climbing frame, and they will seek to conquer it. My eldest ended up on the microwave! How? I do not know, but he did it.
Attitude. In my experience my daughter is worse for this than the boys. You think at such a young age they won't have an attitude problem. That's what teenagers go through? But nope, the little one's definitely do. Grumpiness, ignoring you, mad with you, upset. They are just mini teenagers. If looks could kill.
No more starfishing. If you are one that loves to spread out in bed, wriggle around or even sleep in the middle say goodbye to that. Get ready for sleeping on the very edge while the kids take over, or maybe waking up with a foot in your face, or hand in your mouth. Kids love cuddles in bed with Mum and Dad. Obviously I'm being a tad over the top, it doesn't happen EVERY night, but most ;) haha.
The other week I woke up to my youngest (Joseph 7 months old) who had wriggled around in the bed and now had his bottom right in my face. I was woken up by trumping (or farts as some people call them). Thankfully he had a nappy on so kind of protected me a little but still not great!
Questions or observations. Children notice everything, you think they didn't hear or see you but they did, they definitely did. I guess for this bit it would be much easier to just give you examples. So here we go.
The supermarket checkout. You have just loaded all your shopping onto the till and are now waiting for your turn, someone is stood in front of you. One time the person stood in front of us happened to smell not so great. As an adult we know it is best to just keep your mouth shut and hold your breath, it's impolite to comment. Children don't think this way. My daughter decides to say at the top of her voice. 'Mum why does that person smell so bad?' I replied with, 'I can't smell anything, nobody smells bad.' She then even louder than before says, 'Mum that person smells really bad, she does, Mum smell her, she smells really bad! That one!' She then doesn't only point but pokes the woman in front who smelt. I wanted the ground to swallow me up there and then, I had no where to run or hide. I just had to smile and pretend nothing had happened.
That was just one example, my daughter has said things similar to this before and since. I've had, why is that person so fat? Mum why is that person driving a car in the shops, they should walk (was a wheelchair). Look Mum that person has a funny face. That person has no hair! That person's skirt is tucked in their knickers. The list goes on.
My son was similar, he saw a dwarf, or little person. If I'm honest I'm unsure of the correct term these days. He asked me why that man was so small, I explained and he got upset and asked me if he was a dwarf. The poor man heard the full conversation.
No doubt I will have all this to come with my youngest. Thankfully he can't talk yet!
Now I know I have made parenthood sound all negative. And I may have come across as a Mother who just complains about her kids but as awful and embarrassing as some of the above things sound I loved and still love every minute of being a parent.
It's damn hard work and anyone who tells you it's not is a liar. Children are so unpredictable and can catch you out at any moment, they can stress you out and can be naughty but they are so amazing and we have to remember they are creating their own stories but they seek us for guidance and we need to be there for the good, the bad and the ugly.
It is all worth it as you will be rewarded for your hard work. The overwhelming love you feel for your children makes you feel like you could explode, as you just can't contain how much you love them. They will make you laugh, they will make you proud. You will enjoy watching them learn and grow. And you will look back at the gross stuff and laugh. My two older children love hearing stories of when they were younger.
Oh and just so you don't lose all hope, they come in handy when they get older too. Check out my son cooking dinner, under my supervision obviously. And my daughter rubbing lotion onto my sunburned legs.
Life with children will never be lonely or dull. You will forever have someone to love and someone who loves you back, you will have many fun times together, and create many special memories. Being a parent with one of the most, if not the most, rewarding thing that will ever happen to you.
Enjoy your journey through parenting, it begins now and never ends.
From all of us, enjoy being a family! Warts and all. xXx
No comments:
Post a Comment